Sunday 5 August 2012

And I thought I was the father of all my kids

Copyright 2006 Pauline Houle

In some foreign cultures, not so extended ago, females entering into adulterous behaviour had their nose cut off so the rest of the female community would know what to count on if they broke their bond with their husband. Other cultures, nevertheless to this day, disfigure their females if they even lay eyes on a further man and therefore dishonour the household or the clan.

Centuries ago, females were burnt as the witch-hunt we all have heard about used to be the usual and customary. Fire was purifier of evil. Yes, females (and some guys) have noticed and lived the full spectrum of tortures and overpowering attitudes common to the ancient and non-evolved patriarchal society. So it was then. As a woman, I am portion of a gender that was influenced forever as a result of these behaviours. Women's lib is a reaction, a rebellion that was more than due.

However, I think in some circumstances, some of us have let it go way too far. Time has come for the pendulum to swing back not only to a path of getting rights and privileges but primarily to a really profound sense of responsibility about the consequences of our actions. Greater conscience constantly comes at the price of becoming responsible and accountable. Justice and equality constantly require 1 to be responsible for ones own actions.

Lately, the medical world via its good scientific discoveries and its newest findings, have unravelled a myriad of possibilities for cures of all sorts. Amongst these findings, the nearly "bullet proof" reliability of DNA testing has assisted conquer quite a few deadly diseases and solve a variety of crimes. On the other hand, all these fantastic discoveries have presented a key to unlock a secret that some females thought protected forever. Lets explore that new reality.

As a therapist and a extended time researcher in human behaviour, it seems a expanding number of individuals explore further-marital sexual encounters in their life it appears to have come to be the "soup du jour". If an affair results in pregnancy, the woman can go for an abortion, that is a choice she can make and that is the end of it. But on the other hand, if following getting the affair she decides to keep the baby and pass it along for her husbands youngster, no 1 will dispute it unless she opens up the secret or else the husband starts to have a suspicion and goes to the lab with a straight forward swab of saliva from the baby comparing it to his in order to uncover the truth.

If the husband has any doubt about his paternity, as we speak, he has 6 months following birth to contest paternity when that time elapsed, he is stuck to act, react, be accountable and responsible for that youngster. Lets appear at the usual reactions from the courtroom in our so-named modern society. Forget wandering eyes and adultery! Thats nothing!

As I write these lines, in a variety of states and countries, a wife can bear children of a man (or guys) not her husband and what takes place next is at her command! She can divorce, kick him out of his household and his household. She can then collect exorbitant spousal maintenance and youngster assistance to devote with out accountability, she can secure a assured college education for every single youngster, she can also collect half the marital assets to top rated it off, she will have deprived the father of his perfect to have his own genetic children. How does our culture deal with her? She gets rewarded!

To this day, in spite of the expanding numbers of false paternity circumstances, the courts will close their eyes to the entire circumstance with the excuse of the very best interest of the children. The children, for their own good quality, will be left with the likes of this woman to be raised. And the man left on his own to mail cheques

Some years ago, JAMA located that 20% of their genetic testing resulted in acquiring the father was not the biological father! Considering the fact that early 2000, that number has jumped to 30% in the States. More than the past 6 years, I began to analysis and attempt to have an understanding of that phenomenon. I have gathered a variety of testimonies from guys more than the world that have been via such an ordeal of acquiring out 1 or more of their children were not from them. They are frustrated, sad and angry. They really feel raped and violated to no end and the court adds to the insult by forcing them to spend the bill.

Not considerably has been carried out so far to rectify this circumstance. In some location, actions have been taken, as in the state of Georgia in May very well of 2001, following the constant efforts of Carnell Smith and his group of guys, who also have been victims of identical facts. They finally saw a new law born. From then on, a woman who lies to her mate about his biological reality concerning the children will be sued in criminal court. But Georgia is the exception. I invite you to reflect on the consequences that our legal system creates and promotes in overlooking such a rampant reality. Having a youngster born in a marriage, fathered outside the couple is becoming a plague and the detrimental consequences are unlimited.

Ladies engaging in such behaviour can now really feel secure with this circumstance since of the power they have in the courtroom but this arrangement has no place in a society that desires to promote values that will stand the test of time. The extended term answer can not have at its core hiding the truth and infringing on the fundamental rights of fathers.

There need to be one thing carried out in that regard. These guys are genuine victims and ultimately, the children as effectively. Regardless of whether their function has a grander, unknown and spiritual mission than 1 can fathom, it is no cause to do nothing and just sit and watch it take place. In a book filled with testimonies of defrauded fathers all about the world, I propose a variety of options. Some will be booed by thousands of lawyers for they danger loosing a fantastic income tree that divorce court secures for them, and at the exact same time, welcomed by a majority of other lawyers who have shared their intimate thoughts with me in agreeing that divorce should certainly not be handled by any court as we know it now in our society. The radical womens lib will want to put me in jail as effectively.

I urge our society to investigate the unintended results of our current laws and appear for options that will rectify the ongoing injustices. Correct now, we promote a distorted set of beliefs in handling the fathers legitimate perfect to bear and raise his own children. From the outsiders point of view, it would seem that females get pleasure from all kinds of rights and these guys end up with responsibility of other consenting adults actions. As 1 of my correspondents shared with me: How come if a drunk driver smashes via my house I can sue him and win and when a further man sleeps with my wife and gets her pregnant, I come to be responsible for him?

History shows us how laws had to be set in order to cease slavery of all kinds. No 1 would feel in our days of enslaving coloured individuals and whip them to work! Why does everyone can feel they can enslave non-biological fathers.

Dear Reader, I await your comments and invite your input to enable me continue my analysis in that regard. One particular thing certain, you have not finished hearing from me.

In the meantime, I offer you all my compassion to these defrauded fathers and my sincere wish that these mothers finally healed why and what led them to commit this inhumane act to defraud a man of his youngster.

In a book soon to come out, I have looked at the court system and the games that keep on going, I have looked at the children who come across out their truth and all the ramifications such realities can engender. The paternity secret can be kept. But all too oftentimes, it is not. It can be found via a blood type that does not match or an organ that can not be donated. Ultimately, the mother can not be able to keep the secret and finally let it out in a drunken destructed moment. A person in her close circle of secrecy can violate the self-confidence. And how would it be if 1 day you found that your spouse is half-sister or half-brother?

What would you wish to take place if you located out you were that defrauded man? Until my next report, I wish you all the Blessings your heart desires!



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